Ego is a bitch. It is the petulant, undisciplined child inside all of us screaming defiantly at the world, “MINE!” It sometimes sets unreasonable expectations and calls us terrible names when we fail. My ego is no different. A long time ago in a peloton far, far away I used to be a road bicycle …
“I’m not sure if the passage of time affects our core identities so much as reveals them to us.” -Jennifer Egan I walked out of my therapist’s office for the last time this week. In October of 2014 I sat on Dr Z’s couch for the first time and wept deeply, opening myself to the …
WALKING WITH GOD (part 1 of 5-part series) Prelude to a Kiss “Life force is that part of us that always attempts to act on our own behalf and get our needs met.” -Dr Z Life force is both powerful and vulnerable. It can be a great strength and joy but it can …
“The real cycle you’re working on is a cycle called yourself.” “Anxiety, the next gumption trap, is sort of the opposite of ego. You’re so sure you’ll do everything wrong you’re afraid to do anything at all.” ― Robert M. Pirsig, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance If you ride bicycles or motorcycles regularly …
“These days, when I knock on the doors of the Tryptamine Palace, I am no longer greeted with unconditional love, but instead, I am reminded of the responsibility that comes with ultimate knowledge: an undeniable responsibility to myself, to my tribe, to my species, to my planet.” -James Oroc You made your intentions. You prepared …
This is the prologue to my forthcoming book, And There Was Light: How MDMA Saved My Life — I raised the barrel of the gun to my forehead, aimed it so that the bullet would damage as much brain matter as possible, and pulled the trigger. Drunk and crying in the dark room I was …
When you learn that a parent has died, there is supposed to be a sense of loss and remembering the good times. There should be nostalgia, smiles through tears, laughter at silly things that happened when you were small. Sadly, this was not so for me. I learned last night that my father shuffled off …
Pharmacologically, MDMA (3,4-methylenedioxy-methamphetamine) acts as a serotonin-norepinephrine-dopamine releasing agent and re-uptake inhibitor. The street version is called Ecstasy, X, Molly, and a variety of other names. As with all things that have a “street” version the purity and actual quality of the drug are questionable at best. Often adulterants like caffeine or other stimulants are …
